Happy Birthday Scott

Last Sunday we celebrated Scott's birthday, he is racing towards 50.Although he tries hard to still keep up with Ryan. We had all the kids over (that live here) for dinner and cake. We played games, and opened presents. I am terrible at taking pictures lately, so there are no pictures from his birthday celebration. Happy Birthday Scott, I love you, thanks for all you do for our family. If anyone needs anything he is there to help out. He works hard and loves his family. Through thick and thin you are still my best friend!

Christmas Traditions

We have had some pretty fun Christmas traditions in the past. But times change, kids grow up, they even dare leave home and go somewhere else for Christmas. So our traditions have evolved to accommodate our ever changing lives. We used to spend the day baking all kinds of cookies and then making up a silly song to go caroling at one time we were delivering over 20 plates of cookies and that is a lot of singing. That was one of my most favorite traditions, that just doesn't happen on that kind of scale anymore. Instead yesterday McKenzie, Avrie and I made two different kinds of cookies and I made some cookie butter, that my sister said her family loved so I thought I would try it.

We made up a few plates of cookies for the neighbors and a few other friends, and then all the cookies were gone. We didn't have Katie to decorate and make up our song, but I loved spending time with McKenzie and Avrie. Destina was ice skating with friends, Ryan was skiing, Scott and Kelsie were working. I missed having my kitchen full of people all making their favorite batch of cookies. We finished off the night by going out to pizza with Tim and McKenzie and driving by the Christmas lights.
Another tradition that we used to do was have a gingerbread house making contest, sadly that is not happening either. But we all went to Star Wars together,  except Kelsie who is always working, and the girls. We are having our Grinch dinner on Christmas Eve,  and tonight I am staying home with the little girls and we are having a Christmas book reading marathon snuggled up on the sofa, a new tradition.
Traditions are great, but the most important thing about those traditions is spending time with the ones I love. The activity may change and evolve but the desire and need to be by those that I love most never changes.  Christmas is a time to remember the birth of our Savoir and the gift that His life is to us. The hope and peace He gives us, the example of perfect love He taught us, the infinite atonement He sacrificed His life to give us.  I have been trying to focus each day on the gifts that He has given to me, and I am grateful for all the blessings in my life, even if some of those blessings are a thousand miles away. I love the holiday season, it is an opportunity to take time out for the ones we love. I miss the ones that are not here, but we can't keep our children snuggled up and in our arms and our homes forever, but they are never far away in my thoughts.

Christmas Cards

It didn't happen this year, I think this is the first year I have not done a Christmas card in about 15-20 years. I have lots of excuses, and they are all pretty good. I want to wish all my friends and family and even the people I don't know who come across this blog a Merry Christmas.  I have loved opening the cards I have received, they are all placed carefully on my mantel, thank you for thinking of us!
So here is our Christmas card that did not get sent out, the picture was taken last Christmas when I had all my family here and they were somewhat willing to have their picture taken. I will do better next year!

Happy Quarter of a Century!

It was McKenzie's 25th birthday on Sunday. Yes I am feeling old, but I think I have earned every grey hair and wrinkle. We celebrated with dinner and cake and ice cream and games. We had a house full and McKenzie was in tears and crying a little concerned that she would not have enough birthday cake, so I made her one all for herself. Pregnancy hormones at their finest.  I didn't take any pictures and the one Scott took didn't turn out very well but I thought I would post this one.  McKenzie has the cutest baby bump and is feeling great and looking great too.

Happy Birthday, I hope this next year brings you much joy and happiness. I love you, you will be a great mom, and of course, I will be an awesome grandma!

Giving Testimony

A couple of weeks ago I was called to testify in court for one of my work cases. I don’t have to do this very often but it is never really fun. This particular case I knew there would be a few things asked of me. Some of the things I was testifying were clear-cut facts, how many visits did this parent miss? Other things were more opinion based.  How did the person parent the child?  Truth is subjective is cases like this, my truth about this person’s parenting skills is based on my knowledge of parenting and things that I have studied and learned and have been trained to look for, but it is not hard cold facts, my testimony, or truth, was based on my opinion. The next thing I was asked about was a situation where the child said something that had happened at the foster home. The parent, at the time of the visit, questioned the child and drew their own conclusions as to what the child had said. At the time, I wrote down word for word what the child had said in my report. A couple weeks later the parent brought the conversation back up to me at another visit and tried telling me their truth about what the child had said. The parent changed things around just slightly to make it seem as if there was abuse going on in the foster home. This is what I had to testify against the parent about, it was my word against their word. Lucky for me I had written down word for word what the child had said and I reviewed that before going to court. I knew what truth was in that situation.

Sometimes altering the truth just slightly can change the whole outcome or change the facts enough to cast the wrong light. Sometimes our truth is different than someone else’s, as in the case of me testifying about this person’s parenting, it is based not on facts but opinions. How often do we give our opinions of a situation as fact?  I think of my kids when they were little and fighting they each had their own truth to what happened and it was usually not the same, it was my job to discern what really happened and it was usually somewhere in the middle of what they were both saying. Every story has two sides and it is important to hear both before making judgments.

Now when it comes to religious matters of truth there is a lot of stuff out there. Some of the truths come really close to the truth but changed just slightly to make it more appealing. There are some cut and dried facts that are not disputable, but others will try and discredit them anyway, and there are truths that we know to be true because we have studied them out, we have experimented on the word, and we use our experience to bear out the truth to us. These things are often up for debate, and based on our gospel knowledge and study.  If we were on the stand would our convictions hold up to cross-examination?  The answer to this comes from earnestly studying and praying and getting the confirmation from the Holy Ghost that what we are reading, praying and studying is truth.  Elder Bednar stated: “As we profess truths rather than admonish, exhort, or simply share interesting experiences we invite to the Holy Ghost to confirm the verity of our words. The power of pure testimony does not come from sophisticated language or effective presentation; rather it is the result of revelation conveyed by the third member of the God Head, even the Holy Ghost.”  When I have felt that burning within, the change of heart, the comfort of peace I know I am hearing truth.  

I also know that I have to continue to study, pray and rely on the Holy Ghost to grow my testimony.  Just as I knew the facts of what the parent was trying to dispute, I still needed to go back and review my notes to make sure that what I was saying was what actually happened. My memory would not have been sufficient, I needed the refresher to be exact in what I was testifying. This is true with our gospel knowledge we may at one time said yes, I know this to be true, but if we are not constantly refreshing our minds and letting the Holy Ghost testify over and over again we soon forget, and our memory of truth starts to fade. I have seen this happen in my own life and it doesn’t take very long to slowly forget what we know to be truth. 

Elder John A. Widstoe from a 1945 article stated:

“Starvation of a testimony usually begins with failure to keep properly in touch with divine forces, to pray. Then, desire to learn and to live the gospel law soon weakens. Sacred covenants are forgotten. Study of the gospel is set aside for some other study or activity. There is less and less participation in the life of the Church. Eyes are blurred so that the laws of life are forgotten.

Most frequently, however, the loss of a testimony is due to finding fault with one's fellow believers, and with the leadership of the Church. Every action of bishop, stake president, or General Authority seems wrong, to such unfortunate people. Their vision distorts the world and all in it.

The dying testimony is easily recognized. The organizations and practices of the Church are ignored; the television takes the place of the Sacrament meeting; golf or motion pictures, the Sunday worship; the cup of coffee, instead of the Word of Wisdom; the cold, selfish hand instead of helpfulness, charity for the poor, and the payment of tithing.”

Our testimony’s, our truth's, need constant refreshing, we do this by continually studying, praying, keeping the commandments and being obedient to the truth we have received. This needs to happen continually for a testimony to grow and flurish.

Thanksgiving

Two of my kids are living in Utah so we decided that we needed to make the trip to see them. We loaded up the truck and headed to Utah last Tuesday. We arrived in Logan about 9 pm and we were excited to see Katie and Jeremy.

Katie and Jeremy bought a house at the beginning of November and it was a fixer-upper. It needed a lot of work, Jeremy and his brothers tore down walls, built a mud room, ripped up flooring, built a pantry and closet, tore down kitchen cupboards, and painted the whole house. We were happy to come done and help them out. As we were working on the house we had these weird feelings and an old memory hit us pretty hard. It was almost the same time of year. Scott and I had been married for almost 6 months and he came home one day telling me that he just bought a house. We bought it for $17,000 and just took over payments of $210.00 a month. But it was a fixer-upper. Before we could move in there were several repairs that needed to be done, and Scott's parents came down for Christmas that year, we went skiing and Scott's mom broke her femur bone and was going to be in the hospital for at least a week. Scott and his dad spent that week working on the house. We realized as we were helping Katie we have come full circle - we were the parents helping out! We felt a little old where did the time go? Scott and Jeremy went right to work putting in the new flooring, they needed to move out of their apartment that weekend and there was a ton of stuff to do to make the house livable. The girls and I got to work cleaning the kitchen. Katie's kitchen has a lot of cupboards it took us  several hours to get them all cleaned inside and out. Scott and Jeremy stayed late and got all of the floors in. It was really starting to come together and I could see how cute their house was going to be. I wish I had pictures but is was still a construction zone. On Thursday morning while Scott and Jeremy went back to the house to work for a couple of hours Katie and I packed up her apartment.
We headed down to my sister's house for Thanksgiving and had a great dinner and it was fun playing games and hanging out with all the cousins. We were happy to see Jayden and get a tour of his room.

 A few of the cute cousins.

My Utah kids, Jeremy was watching the football game/napping he has been working non-stop on the house plus working and going to school he was exhausted.

We tried really hard to get a good picture and this was the best we could come up with.

 This one is better than the other one!

 Scott, Katie, Jeremy, and Jayden headed back up to Logan that night to work on the house for the rest of the weekend, Katie had to work so I stayed down and went to my other sister's house to spend the weekend there.

The cousins had a fun time just hanging out, we went to dinner and a movie and did a little shopping. It was too cold for us to do anything outside.

 I loved spending time with my sisters they are both great women that I admire and look up to. We have a great time when we are together and I am so glad we have become great friends.

On Saturday Destina wanted to go to the temple, her cousins Nick and Noelle took her to 2 temples, she had a great time. It was then time for us to head back up to Logan we had a hard time saying goodbye, this was the last time we would see Noelle for at least 18 months, she is leaving the first week in January to serve an 18 month mission. She is such a great example to Destina and so sweet to Avrie we will all miss her but are so excited to hear all about her mission. Saying goodbye on a freezing cold day in the parking lot was short and sweet!

We got back up to Logan in time to do more cleaning at Katie's house. They worked hard and it was at least livable when they spent their first night there. Scott worked on fixing the bathroom shower ripping out the old tile floor and building a new lip and tiling a new shower floor. They were hanging blinds in the bedroom and all the furniture and boxes were moved in. They still have a lot of weekend projects ahead but I think there house is going to be so cute, it was open bright and roomy I can't wait to see it all done.
We headed out really early the next morning made it halfway home by 9:00 am. We stopped in Yakima for a quick stop to say hi to Scott's parents, then made it home by early evening. It was a great trip I love spending time with my family!

First 5K

Avrie has been doing an after school program called Girls on the Run they meet each week and talk about being empowered and how to treat others. Then they train to run a 5 K. Today was the 5K day, it was a brisk 32 degrees outside this morning. There were tons of girls from all the elementary schools in town, they had face painting and other things going on before the 5K. Avrie doesn't love to run but she did a great job finishing the race and staying with a friend the whole way. Hanging out with her buddies was the best part.

Even Destina and Scott came out to cheer Avrie on.

Or to hang out with her buddy!

Flashback Friday

It has been a while since I have done a flashback, so about time I fixed that. This flashback is almost 8 years ago, our first trip to Haiti. We were so naive about what this whole adoption process was going to entail. We were still in the honeymoon stages. We had finished most of the arduous task of paperwork, and we were looking forward to bringing this sweet angel home in the near future. We were saying our last goodbyes - literally, we would never see her again. Even 8 years later she is never far from my thoughts. The knowledge that I will still get to be her mom, drives me to live worthy of that privilege. She, and sweet Gracie, give me hope when I am feeling that life is too hard. Having the knowledge that we can all be together again gives me great peace. We love you little Ellie!

  

CASA

I am officially a CASA! (Court Appointed Special Advocate) This is something I have been wanting to do for a while but put it off for another time. Last Spring I started to process, put in my application and had my first interview. Training was scheduled for the Fall. In September I had to have another interview in front of a panel of 5 people asking me questions. Then training started, it took about 3 weeks to get through all the training sessions. On Tuesday I was sworn in by a judge and took an oath. This is all volunteer work by the way. I will now be responsible for advocating for what is in the best interest of the child I get assigned to. I get to be an investigator, and report to the court what I think should be happening for a child in foster care.

Halloween Wrap-up

It is November Halloween is done, the decorations are put away, yet there are candy wrappers all over the house still. We had a fun night carving pumpkins a couple days before then on Halloween the girls had a fun night hanging out with their friends. I passed out candy to cute kids and most of them said thank you and were really nice, even the teenagers. Now I have at least 11 months before I have to here the constant questioning associated with Halloween.

Avrie has always wanted long blonde hair, and after Halloween I don't think she will be making that request again. We decided that she was disco barbie for Halloween.

The Gender Reveal

Favorite Quote

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step – watch your step.”  

 I think about all the journey’s I have been on and how they all start with an idea or an impression, like adopting the girls that was definitely a journey that took a thousand miles, but worth every hard step. I also think about some of the other journeys that I took in my life that didn’t have as great of an outcome. How seemingly little steps lead me down a path, where the outcome was regret and hindered the path I should have been on.
I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to listen to your mother. I wish I would have stayed close to my gospel upbringing, I wish I would have listened to that still small voice and realized that Satan was real and what Satan is capable of. I wish I would have recognized the subtle ways that Satan leads us down the wrong path. I was very gullible to the enticing ways of Satan. I was stubborn and thought I knew it all. What I didn't know was how much my mom loved me,  I didn't believe that I was a daughter of God, I didn't think that there was a way back once I made mistakes, so I just kept making them. I fell for Satan's lies, and he left me feeling worthless.

I think back to some of those decisions I made, at a time when I had a hard time picturing my future, and still feel regret at not choosing more wisely. School was one of those choices. I had good intentions of going to school, I worked and paid for the first 2 years of college, but I lacked self-confidence to finish, I didn’t believe that I could do it. If I could go back I would tell myself that you can do it, you can do hard things and you are worth the effort and that you can and will make a positive difference in the lives of others.  There are other decisions that I made while in high school that I wish I could have a do over now, but the 40+ person that I am today can’t go back and talk to the 16 year old person that I was then, unfortunately.

As I eagerly await the arrival of our first grandchild I see McKenzie starting out on a whole new journey, she has no idea what is in store for her. She has no idea of the love that she will feel, the hopes, desires and joy that is waiting for her.

 ( This picture was taken today, it was so much fun to be in the room when they found out if they are having a boy or girl, priceless)

Katie has also started on a new journey, they just bought a house. Their journey is going to take them to the home improvement store. Their journey reminds me of the first house we bought, it was really a fixer upper, but looking back those were some fun years. Scott and I have always enjoyed working on house projects together, and I think Katie and Jeremy will too. I can’t wait to see how they polish this stone into a gem. 

Kelsie has made the step on the journey of becoming a nurse. This is a dream that she has had, and watching her cousin living her dream has given her the drive to reach that dream too. Stay focused on the prize and have the confidence that I lacked, you can achieve this dream.

Parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done but it is also one of the hardest as well. Being the parent of adult children can also be very vexing, I have no control over the decisions they make, and that scares me. I just hope and pray that they will remember the things they have been taught, forgive me for my short comings, and know that I love them to the moon and back. That is a journey that I would make all over again!

Halloween Parties

Avire;s had the Halloween Party season. First was the school fall festival, then a friends party. 2 more parties to go and I will have made it through yet another Halloween.
She went as a cowboy to the first 2 parties, I have a different costume for her for Halloween but  little scared about what she will look like. It is supposed to look like a 60's go-go dancer. You will have to wait for the picture on that one.

Birthday Time

Mia turned one! She is "like" my grandchild. She lived in my home for 10 months, along with her mom, who is "like" my daughter, and I watched her every week. They moved out at the beginning of the month and I am really happy for them, they were able to take a bad situation and make it good. I am happy that I was able to help, and I love that little Mia to pieces.
We celebrated her birthday like we do all our other birthday's with dinner and dessert. She had her own cake, although if you would have seen some of the adults going after the part of the cake she did not destroy you would think otherwise. There was no need for plates just forks!

She was done with all the people staring at her eating cake!

Fall

It was that time again to go to the pumpkin patch, apple picking farm. Scott has been working 6 days a week for the last 6 months so finding time that he can get away is hard, and I don't love going by myself.  So we made a plan to head out early Saturday morning before he had to be to work. It was great timing we got there before the crowds and we took care of business and left. It has been really weird just having the 2 little girls at home and just doing things with them, our family seems so small. We have a few older children around but we are just too boring for them to want to hang around. (Sad face)  But we had a great time with the girls. They are fun and still like to hang out with their parents, most of the time.

After the pumpkin patch Scott headed to work and we went shopping. The girls wanted to make caramel apples but I didn't want to use the apples we just picked so we went to the store and bought the supplies to make them. I also needed to stop to get a birthday present and some how Destina ended up with a new pair of shoes. The girls and I had a fun time making the caramel apples even if Ryan came in just as we were getting ready to dip the first one and decided that he wanted to try it, and the heat got turned up and the caramel became to hot. Anyway, there is a reason I bought cheaper apples for this project. The caramel ran off the apples and puddled at the bottom, but that didn't stop us from eating them, it just took a little more work.