"We can do hard things" "This is hard, We can do hard things." (pg 85)
I am back, I don't know what happened to the month of March but it was busy and I must have been too busy or content to focus on this, which is a good thing. I am back today because this is so cathartic for me, I can write it here and let it go, but always have the ability to go back and look, see where I was and how far I have come. Today is one of those days, I can look back and see how far I have come. I can do hard things. This post will be in the form of a letter to the ex...
Dear Ex-Husband,
I want to thank you for the many lessons I have learned over the last four years. You see before that fateful day I found your messages to your brother, you know the ones, I relied so heavily on you I was almost handicapped. You were great at doing all those things I found hard or uncomfortable and I was happy to let you do them. Since then, I have done many hard things, yep I pump my own gas, which seemed to be a favorite mantra of yours, "I even pumped her gas" as if you were so special for accomplishing this task. I guess I could have responded with, I do your laundry, cooking, cleaning, child-rearing, etc" you get the picture and that would be a whole different post. So not only do I pump my own gas, I drive my car to Jiffy Lube and get the oil changed, I have taken my car in to get the breaks replaced, windshield fixed and oh, I even bought my own car all by myself, so thank you.
I have had to rent my own place, change light bulbs, smoke detector batteries, more challenging than it should be, I had to look that one up on YouTube, instead of completely disabling it. I have had to fix holes in the wall, not ones I created, however. I learned how to use a weed-wacker and even change out the string. I have painted the deck as well.
I have called all the utility companies, one of my biggest fears, phone calls to strangers. I have called the IRS to straighten out the tax mess I was left with. There isn't anyone I fear to call now, phone calls were hard things, I do hard things.
I continue to do all the doctor appointments and there have been many over the last several years, I call the schools, talk to teachers and administrators. As a matter of fact, since you have pretty much walked out of their life, I do all the things for the girls.
I finished school, and then have decided to go back and get a paralegal certificate, because I can do hard things. I have represented myself in court, going up against a seasoned lawyer and although he is very skilled at continuing and dragging things out, he has only served to prove that I can do hard things and persevere to the end. You can only avoid a court order and several contempt orders for so long.
I have traveled by myself, or with a friend, and pushed myself out of my comfort zone, think hiking the narrows, traveling to Haiti, road trips and I look forward to many more adventures I would not have taken before. Repelling, zip lining, snorkeling, hiking just to name a few things on my bucket list.
I could go on, but when I feel down or overwhelmed with the next "hard thing" I take stock of all the hard things I have done, and the list is far too long to catch everything, and know I can do hard things!
Love,
The Ex-Wife!
